Dear Mariah…




Let’s talk. We all know you’re one of the best selling artists of all time. We all know you’ve had 18 number one hit singles. We all know you still hold the record for the longest running number one single (One Sweet Day) in America. We get it. You really did it up and did it right.

2016 was an interesting year for you. Seemingly, things were looking up. Your live performances were fairing much better. You were selling out shows at your residency in Las Vegas. You toured in England and earned solid reviews. Lionel Richie invited you out on tour in 2017. You debuted your “docu-seires” Mariah’s World on E!  You were on your way.

2016 was supposed to end well for you. You had the headlining spot on the Rockin’ NYE with Ryan Seacrest. The world (perhaps just America, because no one really cares about us anymore) was watching. You just gave up. It was worse than watching you on TRL that one time prior to your having a break(break)down. It was a special occasion, but you literally decided to just… not show up. That’s really what it seemed like.

The first CD I ever had was the CD Single of Hero. I have all your albums and really thought Me. I Am Mariah was a great album (it truly was slept on – because you released all the wrong singles). I really believed in you through the Glitter debacle. I bought a surgeon I work with the movie on Amazon Prime and defended it’s purity to the core. I enjoy you so much that last night I had friends texting me, asking me if I was alright. Nothing happened in Chicago. It all happened in New York. Your performance was a disaster and you cannot blame someone else anymore.

I thought of some resolutions for you. Some of them are “moments” you need to have in order to recover form this hysterical-blindness you apparently suffer:

  1. Do: Fire Stella. She’s not a real manager. She wants celebrity for herself. She’s using you. Wake up.
  2. Moment: If your voice isn’t there anymore, then don’t try to lip-synch for your life. You suck at it. Girl, we will still love you. Edit the compositions and just do a good job using what you have left.
  3. Moment: realize that you are one of the best-selling artists of all time. Mariah, you have a legacy. Is this really what you want it to end like? This is ending your legacy. The way you behave is tarnishing it. Wake up and make a decision. Classy or trashy?
  4. Know her: stop it with the whole “I don’t know her” bullshit. You’re an adult. You know who they are. Are you best friends, no. Do you know who motherfuckinJenniferLopez is? Yes. I’m Real was supposed to be yours. Deal with those emotions (you got them feelins). Come to terms with Jennifer. You may not like her, but you know the bitch and she’s right next door trying to take away your meal ticket and bitch has a bigger box office revenue than you.
  5. Moment: You’re a diva. We get it. Don’t be so crass though. Don’t be so oblivious. I know you say you’re just playing into the persona; but Mariah, we love your talent, not your persona.
  6. Do: Take some new promo pics and use them. Me. I Am Mariah’s era is over. If you really want to look thin in pictures, try. I know you can.

Tough love, Mariah. I’ve got your back girl. I hope you take the advice.


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